"The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra" -Jimmy Johnson

01 April 2013

Guest Post: 8 Things I Will Teach My Son About Women

Today's post is by a guest blogger, Christian, who happens to be my twin brother. My brother is a very analytical person, so of course he over-thinks things but within all that over thinking there is always a great message or conclusion!   When I first discussed with my brother the idea of guest blogging I did not give him any criteria he had to meet. I just wanted him to express what was on his mind at that time that he was itching to get out. What he came up with was 8 Things he will teach his son about women! I found this to be very interesting so I decided to share it with you all. After reading this post, if you enjoy what you read, please make sure to check out his blog 'Just What I am Thinking At The Moment" for more thoughts from Christian. Feel free to leave a comment and express your views on the subject.

***Disclaimer: Although I am posting these expressions on my page, this does not mean I share or agree with the thoughts of the writer. My blog is designed for self expression so to each its own. I do however promote healthy discussion that further expand one's expressions.

8 Things I Will Teach My Son About Women

I am no player or lady’s man, but I have had my fair share of dealings with the opposite sex. Through this journey, I’ve experienced and learned certain things the good way, the bad way, and the ugly way. Whenever I’m reflecting on these things I often say I should teach a class or host a seminar on the subject. Then it hit me; I don’t need to do that. I have someone to teach: My Son. I will teach him the Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Here is 8 points about the Bad. 

1: Women don’t love to argue, but they enjoy disagreeing

If you say let’s go left, some women will demand that we explore right. “How do you know we’re supposed to go left, I’m not saying that’s wrong but why don’t we try right’’. Women are experts at disagreeing, and disagreements lead to arguments. Unless you are just a pushover, you will encounter pointless arguments time and time again. The initial disagreement becomes much larger and you will be singing like Neyo “we’re mad for nothing….nothing…nothing” Point 1: Son, Don’t waste too much time arguing with women. Listen to their concerns and find a resolution. If that doesn’t work…just stop talking. She can’t argue by herself….hmm on second thought, maybe she can, it’s called Nagging.

2. Being Friends and being in the friend zone are completely different

The idea of a platonic friendship escapes the reality of many. Such a friendship can exist though, especially when you’ve been friends since childhood. It’s cool to be just friends with her as long as you’re not beyond attracted to her. I expect you to have many attractive friends, but you will have a type in which many of them will not fall in. Remember a female friend means you can be candid with her. When you’re in the friend zone however, such openness will not exist, at least not for you.  This is like waiting at the DMV and never having the right papers.  DENIED. This is like standing in line outside a sold out concert, hoping you will get in. Women love putting guys (especially nice guys…SEE Point 3) in the friend zone. They will use you and keep you around knowing good and well they never ever feel like being more than just friends with you. They’ll entertain you every now and then, throwing you a bone, just to keep you hooked. You will sit anxiously awaiting your turn while every wrong guy skips line ahead of you. When you’re the only one in line, she will express to you that there is no one good out there. She may even tell you she wishes there were more guys like you out there, but still you are not a candidate. It’s a waste of time (see Point 4).  Point: Son, Avoid the Friend Zone like the Ebola virus! If you have a love interest in her and she’s not down, cut her off completely. There are about three or four exact copies of her out there. Obey this!

3. Being the Super nice guy is WACK!

Don’t be that guy. Women do not like that guy. On the outside, nothing bothers the super nice guy. He’s always willing to bend over backwards to help a woman.  He showers her with compliments and tells her everything she wants to hear. He agrees with everything she says. He doesn’t know the line between chivalry and servitude. He will do all the courteous things to gain her attention. These guys also develop entitlement complexes. They often believe they are the perfect catch and can’t figure out why a certain girl won’t give him any play. This guy allows her to behave in a foul-like manner, disrespecting his time (see point 4). The Super Nice Guy will be cool when she wants to end the date early so she can go hang out with another guy…and he will drive her over there. This guy is usually a frustrated real estate developer in the infamous Friend Zone (see point 2). Having good manners and holding a door open is great, do those things. Buying her flowers every day without any reciprocity is lame and soon you will find the garbage can in which she stores your flowers. Women appreciate a man who isn’t just like her girlfriends. Remember she needs to disagree about something (see point 1). Be assertive and direct (see point 5), let them work for a little extra attention.  Don’t be a jerk although some women respond only to this, just find that balance. Point 3: Super Nice guys make Super nice friends, not lovers.

4. Women will only value your time as much as you do

If you don’t value your time, she will not respect you. Women are a lot of fun they can make you happy in ways better than your homies can. This does not mean that you need to spend all your time around them, doing stuff for them, or thinking about them. That’s a trap, marriage. You can’t always be available and up for anything to cater to her whims. You need to have other things going on. You must have goals and objectives that deserve your time. They know when you don’t.  Your time is just as valuable as hers, so allow her to prove what it is worth. If you find yourself canceling other plans all of the time to spend time with her, stop that. You deserve your own personal time, don’t give it up…she will understand.  Women enjoy quality time, they also enjoy just time being with you even if you aren’t doing anything at all.  Tread carefully because all of this time will be not only be expected, it will be demanded under the label of ‘consistency’. They love that. If you block out time for her and set up something and she constantly and consistently cancels on you for whatever excuse, cancel her address the issue. Really, you shouldn’t let it get that far, after the second time she’s tested you and you failed. This is usually an indication that she doesn’t care about your time and she’s not really feeling you (see point 6).Point: Son, Your time is valuable; it’s a limited investment that must yield considerable returns 

5. Closed Mouths don't get fed...Properly

Women like Assertive/Aggressive men. If you want something you have to go out and get it, or at least ask for it. As much as women pretend to be, they are not mind readers. I am not saying go out and rape any one. No means NO, but until she gives you that dead NO, be persistent. This does not apply in the workplace, you may end up in HR’s offices Point: Son, Don’t be afraid to make your move, and when you do make it count.

6. She says she likes you, but she really doesn't.

Women like to eat too. They will go out with you for a free meal. They’ll text back or take your calls for small chat. They will even flirt back. This doesn’t mean you’re in. Men flirt because they are interested in making a move or setting something UP, so it can go DOWN. Women may flirt because they too are interested. Women also like to flirt for entertainment purposes only. She will flirt with you right in to friend zone(see point 2). Sometimes they were interested in the beginning but have lost interest, but since you are a stand-up guy, keeping you in the corner (this is not the friend zone, but more of waiting stage for it) isn’t a bad idea for her. You might be part of the starting five but you are not the star or even part of the Big 3. Be careful because soon you will be in a suit and tie the whole game with the rest of the players in the friend zone. Point, Son Coach your own team, don’t be on anyone’s roster.  If she really wants to play…you will know, if not bench her or drop her from the team.

7. Women lie, Surprise!

They do and they do it well. Point: Women lie, just like men. Watch  yourself.

8. Don't play those Ex-Games

Almost every woman has an ex. Some of their exes never got the memo. Some of them got the memo and don’t care, they are still around. Some of them are around because of their longevity and now they are ‘friends’. Some of them have other ties such as property, kids, and mutual friends that keep them in contact constantly. Fine. There are however some exes that never leave the picture romantically.  Sometimes women welcome the attention. They will tell him about their whereabouts, the new guy, and this and that. They will even occasionally cook him a meal or let him borrow an iron or something. This is called the Ex-Games. The Ex games are both physically and mentally dangerous for you. You don’t want it to be when you are chilling on her couch and he knocks on the door to be when she tells you that they are only on a ‘break’. First 48 is real. Point: When dealing with women with recent or ‘continuous’ exes make sure everything is cool before you get involved with them.

In the words of Usher’s You got it bad: I’ve been there, done it, [been] around, After all that, this is what I found. Assumingly, not all women are this way…I know I know. Of course a lot of what was written is disagreeable (see point 1). Fella, Ladies be honest have you seen this or participated in such activities? What would you add to the list if you were explaining ‘the bad’,  to you your son in the midst of his teen years? Comment Below. 


  1. Yea he did a great job. He went in but in a mature mannerly way and made great points!

  2. Wow, I see he's gonna teach his son how to stay single his whole life or how to date women with nothing going for herself. I always thought the main goal should be marriage. Saving yourself for the right one. These are not good things and not true about all women. You will only get what you look for in women. Praying that your brothers view of women will be restored and made new. There's alot better out there Christian.

    1. Hi Bree! Thanks for reading and leaving your comment. I shared your views with my brother and he wanted me to just mention he appreciated them and wanted me to emphasize that he does know there are great women still out there (he actually just recently found one). This post was just speaking towards the bad and he has and plans on continuing speaking to his son about the good as well. This is truly just a portion and it was posted with hopes that his other views would be in other parts following this one. Once again thanks for reading! I always welcome healthy conversations. I really appreciate your comment.


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